Stuff My Son Says - #11

Last night, Cameron was bored and in need of entertainment.  Here was his request:

"Harry Potter and the Order of the Phonics"

Well, a lot of people are hooked on it...

Stuff My Son Says - #10 (Griffin Edition)

Until now, I've limited this topic to cover only the hilarity of Cameron, my seven year-old.  But four year-old Griffin has really outdone his older brother in the category of humorous utterances.  Here are his top five:

5.  After a significant amount of time in the deep water at the local pool...
Griff: "Let's go back to the swallow end."

4.  While we were laying on deck chairs at the pool, Griffin started gently patting and rubbing my back...
Me: "Griff, what are you doing?"
Griff: "Giving you a patio."

3. While swimming at this same pool...
Griff: "What's that thing in the front of your shoulder by your neck?"
Me: "It's my collar bone."
Griff: "Well, what color IS it?"
(Gotta get that kid's hearing checked.)

2.  After seeing a trailer for one of this summer's superhero movies...
Griff: "Can we see Captain Antarctica?"
(That movie would suck.)

1.  Jenny was explaining how she had to take Liam to orientation day at Patrick Henry Middle School...
Griff:  "Remember the last Patrick Henry Day?  When everybody wore green stuff?"
(Although Patrick Henry was a good guy, he was no Saint.)

Stuff My Son Says - #9

While waiting for his brother's baseball game to start, Cameron was apparently bored. Here's the brief dialogue that ensued.

Cam:  Dad, can you get the iPad out of the car?

Me:  Buddy, just play with your friends.  Use your imagination for the next couple of hours.

Cam:  OK.  I imagine you getting me the iPad!

After that comeback, I surrendered and got him the iPad.

Stuff My Son Says - #8

This weekend, we stayed at our friends' acreage.  Their six-year old son, Jack, was telling us about how his dad built the house himself.  Cameron asked me if I could build a house, which I obviously don't have the skill set to accomplish.  Here is the brief interaction between Cam and my lovely wife, Jenny, that followed.

Jenny:  I married a man who can't craft a house, but he can really craft words.

Cam: Mom, you were married before you met Dad?!?

Stuff My Son Says - #7

A couple of weeks after returning to South Dakota from our Easter trip to Canada, Cameron randomly commented on his geographic preferences:

"I don't like traveling to other countries.  I'd rather stay here in America.  We have more channels."

That boy's got his priorities straight.

Stuff My Son Says - #6

On the day before Mother's Day, I asked Cameron if he was going to do anything special for his mom.  He was slightly insulted that I would question his level of thoughtfulness.  His response:

"I already got her two dandelions!"

Roadtrip!

Memorable events from this weekend's trip to my son's baseball tournament in Des Moines, Iowa.

• Following the NFL draft on a patchwork of AM radio stations for the 4 1/2 hour trip.
• Talking religion and politics with my wife's Aunt and Uncle until midnight. Time flies when you're discussing taboo topics.
• Eating Uncle Ed's fantastic pancakes and eggs. That man can cook!
• Taking a line-drive foul ball in the jaw. Ouch.
• Watching Liam's team nearly complete a valiant comeback in the championship game after being down 6-0 in the 1st inning.
• Seeing cousin Elizabeth (who I've known since she was 1 month old) in her prom dress. Dang, I felt old.
• Listening to Liam sing along to a Chris Tomlin song as we had "church" on the Sunday morning drive to the diamonds. Cool moment.
• Spending the first of several baseball-filled weekends with fun families on Liam's team. Fun parents, cute kids.
• Staying awake for the first two hours of the drive home due primarily to caffeine and intense facial sunburn pain.  I forgot that it's still possible to get fried when it's only 60 degrees.
• Hearing the news that Osama Bin Ladin was dead. What a strange mix of emotions. I was driving through southern Minnesota and tuned in to various radio stations for two hours listen to the details roll out. Will this be another "Where were you when..." moment?